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Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Canada and Cousins
AHHH!!!! I am leaving to Canada on Sunday! I don't know what time o if I can go to the farmers market, but we are leaving on Sunday! I don't know if I can contact you, but I think I can, Alexandra can. So I will tell you all about my trip, maybe, if my cousins don't take up all of my time, which they normally do, especially Evelyn (Gloria's age) and Carla (umm, younger than Gloria) and Ada (a year younger than me). Wait, thats all of them, oh yeah because they all love me too much. Oh well. Hmm, that was short, well there isn't much to tell so oh well. <^o^>
Sunday, July 29, 2012
5 year old soccer
If you don't understand why going to soccer camp with your five year old stepbrother is a, to say the least, frustrating experience, let me break it down for you. Besides the normal five year old drama, this is what they display to there clueless parents, who (shockingly) reward this terrible performance.
Offense: (random toe poking in the goal's general direction)---When questioned, "What are positions?" they say.
Defense: (very uncontrolled kicking at the ball with strong potential of missing and hitting persons in sensitive areas, tackles from behind, hand balls) -- When questioned, "I was just trying to get the ball," they say
Transition: (slow running not even toward the ball occasionally, much tripping and random kicking) -- When questioned, "Bwaaa... I ..want ....my..mommmmmmyyyyyyy." they cry uncontrollably.
Trash Talk: "That's cheating, goalies can't come off the line. Cheater Cheater. Yes, I scored (you were actually offside but that doesn't exist). Whaaaaa. Teacher, he's being mean."
5 year oldness: Cheating, not finishing the whole drill, not listening or following directions, randomly chasing you around, a lot of crying, and a lot of lying, and a heaping amount of yellow cards (which conveniently don't exist.)
Now please, tell me that not all soccer players start off this..well.... abstract.
Offense: (random toe poking in the goal's general direction)---When questioned, "What are positions?" they say.
Defense: (very uncontrolled kicking at the ball with strong potential of missing and hitting persons in sensitive areas, tackles from behind, hand balls) -- When questioned, "I was just trying to get the ball," they say
Transition: (slow running not even toward the ball occasionally, much tripping and random kicking) -- When questioned, "Bwaaa... I ..want ....my..mommmmmmyyyyyyy." they cry uncontrollably.
Trash Talk: "That's cheating, goalies can't come off the line. Cheater Cheater. Yes, I scored (you were actually offside but that doesn't exist). Whaaaaa. Teacher, he's being mean."
5 year oldness: Cheating, not finishing the whole drill, not listening or following directions, randomly chasing you around, a lot of crying, and a lot of lying, and a heaping amount of yellow cards (which conveniently don't exist.)
Now please, tell me that not all soccer players start off this..well.... abstract.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Loving Memories
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
The Translation Challenge
Felicidades, usted ha logrado traducir esta frase. No te preocupes, que no será esto la próxima vez fácil.
Αυτή είναι μια ενδιαφέρουσα γλώσσα - Ελληνικά. Αναρωτιέμαι αν η Katie μπορεί να διαβάσει αυτό χωρίς μεταφραστή. Η επόμενη γλώσσα που έρχεται.
Ir jābūt grūti iet caur katru valodu, lai noskaidrotu, kuras viens ir pareizs. Es domāju Jūs varētu izmantot clues, bet Jums ir jābūt saprātīgiem, darīt.
Afiŝo estis amuza. Nu, por mi ĉiuokaze.
Llongyfarchiadau, rydych wedi cwblhau'r her Cyfieithu!
- Grace Dessert (finally the right language)
Αυτή είναι μια ενδιαφέρουσα γλώσσα - Ελληνικά. Αναρωτιέμαι αν η Katie μπορεί να διαβάσει αυτό χωρίς μεταφραστή. Η επόμενη γλώσσα που έρχεται.
Ir jābūt grūti iet caur katru valodu, lai noskaidrotu, kuras viens ir pareizs. Es domāju Jūs varētu izmantot clues, bet Jums ir jābūt saprātīgiem, darīt.
Afiŝo estis amuza. Nu, por mi ĉiuokaze.
Llongyfarchiadau, rydych wedi cwblhau'r her Cyfieithu!
- Grace Dessert (finally the right language)
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Granny Squares!!!
I have started (well resumed) learning how to make granny squares, I am planning to make a blanket, made of one huge square (granny style). It is christmas colors: green and red yarn that have gold in it (as if you guys didn't know the colors of christmas... Anyway, my little project is starting off splendidly, for I am on my third row.
But alas! Doing all of the chains, slip stitched, and double chrochets is so tedious and it is getting very very very annoying, but practice makes perfect and mine is, like, perfect! (I say humbly)...
This, for those who don't know, is what a granny square looks like (a smaller one):
But alas! Doing all of the chains, slip stitched, and double chrochets is so tedious and it is getting very very very annoying, but practice makes perfect and mine is, like, perfect! (I say humbly)...
This, for those who don't know, is what a granny square looks like (a smaller one):
Pee, Poo, Farting, and Inch-seals
Yesterday I had a REALLY REALLY REALLY awkward day. Ish. Well, actually, really. I think. No, I don't think, I know. Well, I'll just get to the point.
I went to Mazz's house and learned three things: Mazz is a really weird inch-seal; Gloria is actually six-hundred-and-a-half pounds, the amount of gas in her making her weigh only 58; and their neighbors are kinda freaky.
First of all, Mazz. Mazz's hair looks like a palm tree, especially when she's about to get whacked on the head with a broom, also when she goes riding around on one like a witch. Also when she spits seven-up all over the grass in front of her house, she gets it all over her glasses as well. Mazz is also actually a thousand-pounds with enough gas to make her 100 something pounds instead. Like sister like ... other sister? Whatever, you get what I mean.
Gloria farts a lot. Even her sister agrees with me. I think Gloria agrees with me too. But even she runs out of gas sometimes, and when that happens, she breaks the floor of her house and starts to poop. Or so she says, "I have little instants when I think of that!"
Not only Gloria and Mazz, but their neigbors are weird too. There was this one lady, she wasn't really weird, but her dog was. She kept wiping her butt on Mazz's leg, and she shed too much. Also, when Gloria, Mazz, and I were casually conversing in the middle of the street, one guy was driving up the street, so we had to quickly scram. Then he parked his car a few houses ahead of us, and as we walked past his house, he got out of his car and started to walk down the sidewalk towards us. So, like perfectly normal people, we started to walk faster, spitting into each others' cups, spilling all over the neighbors' grass, and eating cubes of ice off the ground (actually, that was all Gloria and Mazz's doing, I was just an innocent bystander).
Now, you peeps all have read the title, and I haven't covered any of those. So first, I'll start with peeing and pooing. Like perfectly normal people, Gloria, Mazz, and I were climbing trees, laying on the driveway, and spitting seven-up all over the grass. Triggered by some innocent joke, we all started cracking up, leading to Gloria saying, "Stop making me laugh, or else I'm going to pee!" That, of course, made us all laugh more. Soon enough, Gloria said, "If you make me laugh any more, I'm going to poo!" Or something more or less like that. Then it led to farting, where Mazz commented how Gloria farted too much, and on our stroll around the neighborhood, when we were taking a break in the middle of the sidewalk, Mazz started to do the worm towards Gloria and me. She said she was like an inch-worm, inching forward, and I disagreed, saying she was more like a seal inching forward. That created the word, inch-worm. Don't understand? Just think of the definition of an "inch-worm" as "Mazz, high on soda."
I went to Mazz's house and learned three things: Mazz is a really weird inch-seal; Gloria is actually six-hundred-and-a-half pounds, the amount of gas in her making her weigh only 58; and their neighbors are kinda freaky.
First of all, Mazz. Mazz's hair looks like a palm tree, especially when she's about to get whacked on the head with a broom, also when she goes riding around on one like a witch. Also when she spits seven-up all over the grass in front of her house, she gets it all over her glasses as well. Mazz is also actually a thousand-pounds with enough gas to make her 100 something pounds instead. Like sister like ... other sister? Whatever, you get what I mean.
Gloria farts a lot. Even her sister agrees with me. I think Gloria agrees with me too. But even she runs out of gas sometimes, and when that happens, she breaks the floor of her house and starts to poop. Or so she says, "I have little instants when I think of that!"
Not only Gloria and Mazz, but their neigbors are weird too. There was this one lady, she wasn't really weird, but her dog was. She kept wiping her butt on Mazz's leg, and she shed too much. Also, when Gloria, Mazz, and I were casually conversing in the middle of the street, one guy was driving up the street, so we had to quickly scram. Then he parked his car a few houses ahead of us, and as we walked past his house, he got out of his car and started to walk down the sidewalk towards us. So, like perfectly normal people, we started to walk faster, spitting into each others' cups, spilling all over the neighbors' grass, and eating cubes of ice off the ground (actually, that was all Gloria and Mazz's doing, I was just an innocent bystander).
Now, you peeps all have read the title, and I haven't covered any of those. So first, I'll start with peeing and pooing. Like perfectly normal people, Gloria, Mazz, and I were climbing trees, laying on the driveway, and spitting seven-up all over the grass. Triggered by some innocent joke, we all started cracking up, leading to Gloria saying, "Stop making me laugh, or else I'm going to pee!" That, of course, made us all laugh more. Soon enough, Gloria said, "If you make me laugh any more, I'm going to poo!" Or something more or less like that. Then it led to farting, where Mazz commented how Gloria farted too much, and on our stroll around the neighborhood, when we were taking a break in the middle of the sidewalk, Mazz started to do the worm towards Gloria and me. She said she was like an inch-worm, inching forward, and I disagreed, saying she was more like a seal inching forward. That created the word, inch-worm. Don't understand? Just think of the definition of an "inch-worm" as "Mazz, high on soda."
Bloody Me
I have realized that blood appears frequently in my life. Whether it's on the TV shows I watch, or on my own person, it always seems to appear. For example, yesterday I had a nosebleed and blood got on my sheets. I was so busy washing those that I didn't notice there was blood on my leg. When I went to put on my shin guards for soccer, there was a big clump of dried blood all matted in with the hair which I had to wash out. The very night before, I had been watching CSI, where there was a lot of blood on the walls of a contaminated building. Because of my great experience with blood, I decided to make a list of the times when I have found blood in strange places.
• on my leg
• on my jacket
• on my lamp
• on the floor
• on my socks
• on my elbow
Please, if you have ever found your blood in a strange place, feel free to comment on it.
P.S. Since only Hannah has answered my previous post I am tempted to say that she won, but will give you guys a bonus few days to come up with something. It better be extra good.
• on my leg
• on my jacket
• on my lamp
• on the floor
• on my socks
• on my elbow
Please, if you have ever found your blood in a strange place, feel free to comment on it.
P.S. Since only Hannah has answered my previous post I am tempted to say that she won, but will give you guys a bonus few days to come up with something. It better be extra good.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
A Fish's Tail
I am a simple fish, living in the realm of the underwater kingdom, my name was given to me by my Aunt, who raised me and my brothers when my mother went for a fishing hook, she was not the brightest ray of light in the sea, I was told. But she had a pure heart and soul. Now, back to the present, I have no clue how old I am, but I am an adult and living on my own. I have wandered the sea for a reason, a something to do with my life other than eat, poop, and sleep (you may think, oh this is one of those stories, a nobody who finds a quest and turns out to be a hero, but let me assure you, this is NOT one of those stories). I may start sounding like it, but really it does not end like that.
I did, in fact, one day go looking for an adventure, and, indeed, I found one, but not the type you expect (maybe). -- Wait a second, maybe this IS that type of tale, well hmmmm, maybe I should just stop right now before I go further... A little more can't hurt. Right? Wait, I am a fish, who am I talking too... Hmmm, this whole story bussiness is confusing.-- One day, while I was swimming around, looking for some food, I wandered apon a crab trap, I had gone in, but realized it would snap closed with one disturbance, so I slipped out, almost. My tail got snapped in, the cage had closed on it, and I was in pain, BAD pain. It wass luck that brough my crab friend over to help me, he lifted the cage and let me free (we sea creatures are smarter than we appear, well the dumb ones are dumb, BUT the smart ones are smart). My body fell limp and I floated down, almost feather-like. But anyway, I couldn't swim, but my crab friend took me to his cave where he bandaged my tail and took care of me.
All of this leads me to now, still healing.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Yeah yeah yeah, I know, what type of story was that! Well too bad, I was in the mood to tell my short tale of my tail, well that wasn't much of a story... so... HEY WHATS THAT!!!!!!!!!
(While your head was turned, I hid so you can't ask me anymore questions, hahahaha!)
THE END
Dying a Year Early With EXPERIENCE
Today Hannah may have just shortened my life. Why did I let her? Because, if my life is a year shorter, her life is WAY shorter. Like 20 years shorter. How did this all happen? I ask myself. I had decided to help Hannah with her stained glass coasters, getting to take a hammer to the very very breakable glass. The sound was satisfying as well as the psychological effect it had. I could picture BLANK's (<----- blank due to personal reasons) face among the glass as I brought the hammer down. HARD. The color also fit very well, as it was red. Bloody red. :) But that very effective stress reliever comes at a price, maybe. Probably. 99.9% likely. Why, may you ask? Now I have glass powder settling in my lungs. Maybe. Probably. Wait, I said this already, and you get what I mean. Maybe. But I already told her that I wouldn't get angry at her, unless I'm 99 and about to turn 100, and I die, like, a day before my birthday. That's when I'll blow my fuse. But, oh well. She'll probably be dead by then... :D
Connecting the Dots with a Purple, Sparkly Crayon
You know how sometimes, when you think of something, it leads to another thing, which leads to another thing, and so on and so on, until you reach a subject that had nothing to do with what started your train of thought in the first place? I think it is really annoying, especially when you forget how you got there in the first place. My dad was driving the car with his left hand, and he used that hand to scratch his nose, leaving the steering wheel unattended, reminding me of my uncle, who sometimes twisted the steering wheel back and forth, making the car rock and fishtail, also leading me to a book I read about an 80 year old old person who tail-gated the main character on a narrow road on a mountain, which reminded me of the time that my dad, mom, brother, and I went on a hiking trip to the top of the mountain and chucked grapes off the side, imagining gruesome and gory deaths for them all, which made me think of parachuting, especially the Planet Earth video about caves, and so on. I forget the rest. You get what I mean, right? You see how annoying it is? Exactly.
That's just connecting the dots, preferably with a purple, sparkly crayon.
That's just connecting the dots, preferably with a purple, sparkly crayon.
Life - School = Lazy
Yep, you got it. The answers to the first equations were all good and I didn't feel like judging them so I have come up with a tie breaking round for the finals.
1. water - hot =
2. glasses - lenses =
3. knockout - bumping =
4. school - homework =
5. humans - noses =
1. water - hot =
2. glasses - lenses =
3. knockout - bumping =
4. school - homework =
5. humans - noses =
Friday, July 20, 2012
Should I Wake up?
The reasons I get up in the morning are strictly for love. Is there a reason to step into the world if you surrounded yourself in hate? No, I think not. If you embrace the friendships and funny moments, you'll lazily get up laughing. If you bear-hug your bestest (it should be a word) of friends and all the lovely things you done together you'll walk out of bed with the world's biggest smile on your face. If you live the love your friends give you and remember the bloopers you committed with eachother you will truly run out of bed filled with excitement to meet them again. Here's who and what I love (as friends)
- Horses (Earny, Lady, Bella, Tom, Jerry, Rusty, Tin Tin etc...)
- All my bestest* of friends
- Dogs (Rio, Ned, Bo, Bob etc.)
- Chocolate
- Nature
- Laughing
- Books
- Writing
- Soccer
That's why I wake up...PLEASE SHARE YOUR LIST TOO!
*should still be a word
- Horses (Earny, Lady, Bella, Tom, Jerry, Rusty, Tin Tin etc...)
- All my bestest* of friends
- Dogs (Rio, Ned, Bo, Bob etc.)
- Chocolate
- Nature
- Laughing
- Books
- Writing
- Soccer
That's why I wake up...PLEASE SHARE YOUR LIST TOO!
*should still be a word
Chipotle Burrito Bag...
"I remember it like it was yesterday... the question that changed my life. Black or Pinto?... Black or Pinto? I had no idea what to say. I was lost. Everybody else I was with knew exactly what they wanted... I was holding up the line, so I went for it. I went with my gut and I've never looked back.
Black beans, you were delicious. I could taste the Cumin and Garlic. You were tender, but not mushy. You've made me the man I am today. You're the glue that holds my burritos together... day after day. Heck, you're probably the 3rd most important reason I get up every morning...
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I would've chosen pinto instead of you....."
-Chipotle Burrito Bag
Black beans, you were delicious. I could taste the Cumin and Garlic. You were tender, but not mushy. You've made me the man I am today. You're the glue that holds my burritos together... day after day. Heck, you're probably the 3rd most important reason I get up every morning...
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I would've chosen pinto instead of you....."
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Live, Love, Laugh
♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺
At a point like this, one where I decide a large decision without help from anyone else, I conclude that even if we feel as though were aren't in depression over one thing or another, we probably are. So using the very statement Grace gave to me, I Want to ensure your very own
Happiness while promoting your Love for the world. So, take a minute (or 60) to relax on a little patch of grass somewhere, while reading a great book that inspires you to live, love, laugh, and smile. So fill with hope and laugh, laugh, laugh, it is summer after all!!!
♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺
At a point like this, one where I decide a large decision without help from anyone else, I conclude that even if we feel as though were aren't in depression over one thing or another, we probably are. So using the very statement Grace gave to me, I Want to ensure your very own
Happiness while promoting your Love for the world. So, take a minute (or 60) to relax on a little patch of grass somewhere, while reading a great book that inspires you to live, love, laugh, and smile. So fill with hope and laugh, laugh, laugh, it is summer after all!!!
♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺♥☺☺
Hello... or no hello?
hel·lo/həˈlō/
Exclamation:
Used as a greeting: "hello there, Katie!".
Noun:
Noun:
An utterance of “hello”; a greeting.
Hello, is a relatively simple term, one which I don't come close to thinking twice about when I use. There really is no inappropriate time , I once thought. But now I think back and there's a long list of
times in which I would not use the word, for example:
-During a lecture
-While watching a Sex-Ed video
-As I am sleeping(unless I sleep talk???)
-As I am praying...
Please add to the list!
Blisters& Solitary Confinement
Blisters have everything to do with solitary confinement... when you're in solitary confinement on the top of the world, you feel lonely, when you feel lonely you decide to do things that you think will help your depression cease, when you do things that you think will help...well... you spot your dad mowing the lawn, when you see your dad mowing the lawn you ask if you can try, when you ask if you can try, you try the easiest part (or so your dad didn't tell you) when you get tricked into believing that mowing the lawn is easy you volunteer to do it the next time, when you volunteer you end up doing it, when you end up doing it, you notice how hard it is the mow the lawn (except for the 3.2% that your dad let you try) when you notice how hard it is you try harder to prove that 12 year old girls can do it too, when you try to harder (pushing against the vibrating plastic while heavy-lifting a motor on four wheels over hundreds of yards of uneven land- due to wild swine digging up roots- and sweating) you get horrible blisters on your thumbs.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The Result of a Pondering About Armadillos, Dilophosauruses, and Armfuls of Work
Today I was walking down the streets of some city, somewhere. It was quite an odd city, with odd people with odd hair, and after walking down the street for quite some time, I came across an interesting store. "Buy your Armadillo here," the sign said. As I peered inside, I saw about ten people with leashes in their hands, smiling. And even before I looked did I know what was on the other side of the leashes--puppies, no, I meant armadillos.
I then sat down on a nearby bench, listening to the overly-long lecture the salesperson was giving to the newly petted people. I started to wonder how the armadillo got its name. Maybe armadillos are so much work that they are not just a handful, they are an armful. But then what about the "dillo" part? Oh! I know! Well if you look up dillo in the dictionary, you don't get any results. However, the closest thing to dillo it dilo, and if you look that up in the dictionary, ... you still get no results. On the contrary, I remembered a creatology I did a while back on dinosaurs, and the Dilophosaurus popped into my mind! Armadillos must be related to Dilophosauruses! I had completed my thesis--Armadillos are Dilophosauruses that are an armful of work!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Math Equations For The Bored
I know someone who says smart people never get bored. I highly disagree. Smart people get bored frequently, they just do something boring to make it seem as if they are occupied. I have decided to make an activity for you creative and unstimulated occasionally random folk. The most creative answers win. Imaginations ready? On your mark, get set, go!!!
1. 2+2=
2. pee + holes=
3. 10 pages + humor=
4. Caleb + TV=
5. Michael Jordan + Charles Barkley=
Everybody should try to answer. After 3 people have attempted I will post my answers and after 4 the winning answer. Beccajandro
1. 2+2=
2. pee + holes=
3. 10 pages + humor=
4. Caleb + TV=
5. Michael Jordan + Charles Barkley=
Everybody should try to answer. After 3 people have attempted I will post my answers and after 4 the winning answer. Beccajandro
Monday, July 16, 2012
Summer + Uni-Q =
The Summer Fun Normally Abnormal Blog
As you can tell (ahhh i cant find the comma key) we are living in a strange time, (found it) where the general population believes its a good idea to allow children access to the internet (whoops, forgot we were tweens). In this case, I tend to agree with the general population. Time to take advantage of our freedom.
ssjajdetywjajxbwjwiiakqjwjdclnggai. qirydhjbxvxnaajqoepfifhcvbxnajcegwyuaiqk.
Anyway, since I am obviously unstimulated, I have decided to make a list of the 5 weirdest things people have made me do all summer.
5. take 100+ kids to belmont park for 3 hours but only let them do the lasermaze.
4. not take a shower because the toilet overflowed and denied me access to my room.
3. spill oobleck on the table because i was being attacked by oobleckified brothers.
2. teach 50+ kids the wrong way to spell yellow.
1. pretend I'm the hulk in a waterballoon fight.
feel free to question, comment, and tell my ur weirdest things in ur replies.
With much loving weirdness,
Beccajandro
typed from my kindle fire in the UCSD library
Average Fat People, and Normally Abnormal Friends
Today we live in an era in which the supposed-to-be-consistent values are becoming inconsistent. In our eyes, fat people are fat, normal people are normal. There is just no other way to say it. However, as more and more people are becoming fat, overweight people are outnumbering average people. And if you are grading on a curve, then overweight people, or what we knew as overweight people, are now average people. See what I mean, our moral principals of life are becoming mixed up in front of our very eyes!
However, before you come to any unnecessary conclusions, I have yet to give you one more example. In our little circle of friends, the summer happiness has taken over, and we are using our imaginations more than we used to. The result--random passages of random, unnecessary but funny text. Now, since more people are writing abnormally than normally, the normal thing has become abnormal. Now they are the exact same thing! But, what do we call what we used to call normal?!?! ...