A Story That I Felt Compelled To Tell

         I have felt compelled to tell the story of a person. Of course, this story may or may not be offensive, so I legally needed to change her name to avoid lawsuits. This is the story of Suzzana. Specifically, Stupid Suzzana who Seriously Sucks at Soccer.

         Now, this girl, Suzzana, decided to try out for Impact two years ago. She was under the impression that she was good at soccer. She was wrong. For example, she thought that anytime you kicked the ball in the air it was called punting. She toe-poked, she couldn't control the ball, and she just had no clue about anything called tactics. In fact, she would have probably hurt rather than helped any team she played on. Once she asked what are team name should be. Everyone said, duhh its Impact. She was like, 'what, we don't get to choose are own team names? Last year my team was called the Lightning (that is once again a false name just as a precaution.) We had to explain that when you play for a serious competitive club you have to take there name.

         Anyway, you might be wondering why I'm telling you this. The truth of the matter is, I played this girls' camp in dodgeball this very day. (she wasn't too good at that either.) She was in tennis camp, and let me tell you, she wasn't too great at that. I took extreme pleasure in pegging her hard with the ball, and when she threw her ball across in frustration, I caught it. She had no idea who I was, but the memory of her had scarred me. Someone said her name, and I recognized her. And I remembered it all.

          So, if you are still clueless about the message here, let me tell you. The moral of the story is, If you stink at sports, don't pretend your good. Know where the bar is.


P.S. Why isn't anyone else posting??? Except for the awesome Alexandra the Great???