Pee, Poo, Farting, and Inch-seals

     Yesterday I had a REALLY REALLY REALLY awkward day. Ish. Well, actually, really. I think. No, I don't think, I know. Well, I'll just get to the point.
     I went to Mazz's house and learned three things: Mazz is a really weird inch-seal; Gloria is actually six-hundred-and-a-half pounds, the amount of gas in her making her weigh only 58; and their neighbors are kinda freaky.
     First of all, Mazz. Mazz's hair looks like a palm tree, especially when she's about to get whacked on the head with a broom, also when she goes riding around on one like a witch. Also when she spits seven-up all over the grass in front of her house, she gets it all over her glasses as well. Mazz is also actually a thousand-pounds with enough gas to make her 100 something pounds instead. Like sister like ... other sister? Whatever, you get what I mean.
     Gloria farts a lot. Even her sister agrees with me. I think Gloria agrees with me too. But even she runs out of gas sometimes, and when that happens, she breaks the floor of her house and starts to poop. Or so she says, "I have little instants when I think of that!"
     Not only Gloria and Mazz, but their neigbors are weird too. There was this one lady, she wasn't really weird, but her dog was. She kept wiping her butt on Mazz's leg, and she shed too much. Also, when Gloria, Mazz, and I were casually conversing in the middle of the street, one guy was driving up the street, so we had to quickly scram. Then he parked his car a few houses ahead of us, and as we walked past his house, he got out of his car and started to walk down the sidewalk towards us. So, like perfectly normal people, we started to walk faster, spitting into each others' cups, spilling all over the neighbors' grass, and eating cubes of ice off the ground (actually, that was all Gloria and Mazz's doing, I was just an innocent bystander).
     Now, you peeps all have read the title, and I haven't covered any of those. So first, I'll start with peeing and pooing. Like perfectly normal people, Gloria, Mazz, and I were climbing trees, laying on the driveway, and spitting seven-up all over the grass. Triggered by some innocent joke, we all started cracking up, leading to Gloria saying, "Stop making me laugh, or else I'm going to pee!" That, of course, made us all laugh more. Soon enough, Gloria said, "If you make me laugh any more, I'm going to poo!" Or something more or less like that. Then it led to farting, where Mazz commented how Gloria farted too much, and on our stroll around the neighborhood, when we were taking a break in the middle of the sidewalk, Mazz started to do the worm towards Gloria and me. She said she was like an inch-worm, inching forward, and I disagreed, saying she was more like a seal inching forward. That created the word, inch-worm. Don't understand? Just think of the definition of an "inch-worm" as "Mazz, high on soda."