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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

A Really Beautiful Poem by Me

What does the fire sound like? Let me tell you

When you're home alone, and the house is quiet

At first it whispers, but then it hisses

It spits and dances, upward

Defying gravity

The water bubbles and pops, but that is the fire's sound

It vents air in a constant stream, under the lid of the pot

Like a wind in the forest that never dies

And when you remove the lid, it exhales

aaaaaaahhhhhhh

It twists, it dares you

pop, pop, pop

Water boils

You add the pasta

It quiets

ssssssssssssss

But not to be subdued, it rises again

Slowly and with anger

It pits the pasta and the water against each other in a noisy duel

pop, splash, swish as you stir

You feel the heat

Literally

Bright and hot, the fire threatens you

But you cannot turn it off yet

Until

beep, beep, beep

The timer liberates you

One big step (thunk), one twist of the wrist

With a few final plops, the fire dies

You win

The final whooooosh of the pasta being drained

The mark of your victory

Mankind's victory

And now the house is quiet

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

My Dog is Fat and I am Judging him for his Weight


She took my hand

And looked me in the eyes

Slowly she whispered

Can you do one thing for me?

I nodded

And she said

Give me some of your memory

 

Remember how the grass felt

In between your toes

Remember how the trees swayed

In random scattered rows

 

Remember how the sun kissed

Your rosy reddened cheeks

Remember how the waves splashed

Your mosquito-bitten knees

 

Remember how the birds chirped

In the mornings wake

Remember how the fields wavered

In the shapes of snakes

 

Remember how the air felt

So free and fresh in your lungs

Remember how the clouds swept

So licked with the wind’s many tongues

 

Remember how the lake shimmered

In simple paradise

Remember how the owls calmly hooted

In chase of rats and mice

 

Remember all the wonder

Remember all the glee

Remember all the happiness inside

Of you and me

 

And again she took my hand

And looked me in the eyes

Said thank-you, I can leave now

With nature’s truth, not lies

Slowly with a smile

Her hand fell out of mine

With memories

Of the countryside

Acting as her guide

Her chest ceased

Her breath a thing of the past

And just, just like that

Earth called her home

Showered with my thoughts

Of the wild

And then, at last, a tear of mine

Truly said good-bye.

 

 --- alexandra backlund

Monday, August 4, 2014

The Pain Sucker™ (Pretend to be a gameshow host while reading this post)

Pain:
a) physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc
b) a distressing sensation in a particular part of the body
c) mental or emotional suffering or torment:

We've all known pain. We've all felt pain. We've all gotten up close and personal with pain. And we all hate it.

And so, with great pride and pleasure, I introduce to you, THE PAIN SUCKER™!!!!!

Simply remove the long needle from the sterile bag, inject into the area of pain, and suck it out. Works on all types of pain: mental, emotional, and physical, and responds no matter what the cause. And best of all, there are no side effects. 

And now, for only $10.99, Pain Suckers ™ are available at all Walmarts and most pharmacies. Hurry in and get one while supplies last.

Disclaimer: (Low TV Advertiser Voice Now)
      SayNoToPain© is not responsible for any injuries that occur from improper usage of a Pain Sucker™.  Pain Suckers ™ are meant for one-time usage only, and should only be used under the care of a doctor or responsible caregiver. A Pain Sucker ™cannot act as a replacement for doctors and medical treatments. Please read all instructions before attempting to use a Pain Sucker ™. 

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Random Thoughts List

1. It's August, school starts in a month.
2. I was attacked by a hyena at the San Diego Zoo in my dream last night, and I beat it with a stick.
3. My sleeping habits are awful, I always have to pee before I can go to bed and I always wake up at around 6 am and then have to go back to bed.
4. I have the most horrible vacation timing on the history of the planet.
5. My farmer's tan sucks
6. We've had thunder storms (like for real) for the past two weekends, can you say GLOBAL WARMING
7. When Alexandra gets back from Sweden, Grace and I will be at camp, and when Grace and I get back, Mazz will be in Canada
8. Caleb's soccer team won 12-0 today, like WHAT
9. I'm getting some serious upper body muscles, not strength per say, but definitely some definition to those pieces of flesh
10. Doing laundry socks (ooh, that was funny:)
11. I haven't been in my pool in such a long time, ditto for beach
11.5 Caleb is sooooo lazy
12. "A Flock of Seagulls" is officially the worst band name of all time, but there songs are super addicting, plus they all have weird hairdos cuz they're from the 80s.
13. Paul George, I am so sorry. That looked painful (compound tib-fib fracture on live TV at a showcase, requiring surgery, possibly missing next NBA season) and USA Basketball will miss you at the FIBA World Cup of Basketball.
14. Law and Order: Special Victims Unit is wayyyyyy too addicting.
15. Piano, Spanish, TV, basketball, soccer, sleep, weights, run, Caleb, food, online, work
16. I am not ready for school to start

The Midwest


Hello beautiful people!


Currently I am in the great old Midwest, home of cheese and beer and Harley-Davidsons and rye bread and plenty of other rad things. Milwaukee, Wisconsin to be exact. Did you know that here little pieces of water fall from the sky! Yes, grace, this is called rain, which does not occur very often in your home, San Diego. Also it is so very green and trees and flowers and plants grow wonderfully. 


I am having loads of simple fun here. Doing soduku and knitting and watching movies and reading (thanks aud! No thanks to stupid authors who like killing people) and gardening and hanging with family and enjoying green plants and rain. Not overly exciting but definitely very fun.


Here are some little snipits so far:







 

We are driving to Door County, near Green Bay, on Tuesday, then staying until Friday, when I am coming home :)


Love from the land of the cheese, 

Grace

Completely True, Non-crazy Blog post Below :

Today, as I was walking across a parking lot to our car with my brother, I was swinging my ponytail and shout-singing "I WHIP MY HAIR BACK N' FORTH, I WHIP MY HAIR BACK N' FORTH" and there were about ten teenagers who were looking at me like, "She's so stupid, like wtf" so I played the American card: "Hey Kristofer, let's go train, all these peasant Swedes are getting to me, like look at their faces, they think they're so cool, they'd get a serious culture shock, were they to come to La Jolla" and that shut up their overly-maked, fashionable-with-crocs, faces. America wins.