According to extensively conducted research in the mid-western district of Paris, Chihuahuas have taken a new perspective on life: through turkey liver. The government funded experiments drew many decisive results, including those discussing the rare external film covering the Chihuahuas right eyeballs.
Dr. von Schneiderbaldenkertson states, "The turkey liver film that has genetically developed over the right eyeball of the dogs is unquestionably an effect of new egg distribution to dog food factories. These eggs contain an uncommon hormone called Xyboflaxarinian 8. In contact with the turkey meat, recently mandated by the Global Services for Livestock and other Fauna in Dog Food to be included in each and every dog food sold in every single country (with the obvious exception of Monaco, Nepal, and Zimbabwe), this hormone creates a living cell. A turkey liver cell. This cell, much like a cancer cell, fixates on a certain body part, in this case the right eye. The cells that build and make up the conjunctiva are slowly infiltrated by the cell as it starts to rapidly multiply, exhaustively feeding on the conjunctiva's own cells' membranes. Eventually the Chihuahua literally spectates the world in a turkey liver lens. There is further research yet to be performed that will be able to secure the future of the eye film, and whether or not it is a safety or health risk to the Chihuahua."
His wife, Dr. Silvenstrauss- von Schneiderbaldenkertson, shortly dictates, "Chihuahuas are the only affected dog as they have elevated liver enzymes not found in other dogs without medication. This medication kills the turkey liver cell. Now, press, LEAVE."
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