Satellite gets Kidnapped by Lactose-intolerant, Albino Cow from Botswana

Ah. You draw in a deep breath. Close your eyes. Scringe them real tight. Squint through a tiny slit that you've allowed to open between your eyelids of your left eye. And you curse. Because, the crazy lady is at it again. She's posting. On the blog.

The blog that was so pleasantly placid and picturesque.
The blog that is now so horridly muddled and dirtied.

Sweden didn't numb me for long. I'm back at it.

Torturing you little over-exasperatingly-avidly-curious-just-got-to-read-this people.


Now, that cow. Well
1) My brain is half dead as I write this, and the genitive of Botswana is completely nonexistent
2) Which is actually sad (whether you think it is or not, is extremely irrelevant, because I think it is, which is all that really matters, as this is my blog post... word) as I wanted to write 'Botswanian cow' or 'Bosnian cow' (which probably indicates another cultural heritage, but WTF)... anyway, I could not, as my brain deserted me without the knowledge of how to properly indicate that the cow was from freaking Botswana-- in one word format.
3) NOT NECESSARY information at all, but auto-correct wanted to correct 'freaking' to 'phreaking' which according to some deep-web (not) searching, is actually a slang term for experimenting (in a hacking sort of way) with the telecommunications network.
4) NECESSARY information regarding the NOT NECESSARY information. I have no idea why my computer would have stored the word phreaking in its dictionary.
5) I also chose to make the cow albino... because it's ironically un-Botswanian ( %&*$ , that's just going to have to be a word). Or so I thought. But then I read a little about the topic. And it turns out that sub-Saharan countries have the most recurring albino genetic percentage. And, even though Botswana wasn't listed on the list of most common sub-Saharan countries, it's still associated with the area, making it awkward for me because it is completely un-ironic. The chance of an albino vertebrae is very common in Botswana and I was trying to make something sound un-situationally accurate and I made it accurate. I read more about the topic, and unveiled a lot of troubling facts. There is an active market in Tanzania for albino human body parts to be used in witchcraft. There are multiple rape reports of albino women in sub-Saharan countries because of tales that having intercourse with women with a lack of melanin cures HIV. Which means that a lot of lower-class albino women have HIV, in that part of Africa.
6) Lactose-intolerance is of some of the highest percentage in Finland. A very pale country. And when making the cow Botswanian (yup, there's the problem again) I was like Finland is the complete opposite geographically and culturally. But since Finland doesn't actually have a large albino inhabitant percentage compared to Botswana... irony is again at a loss.
7) Anyway irony does win a bit. A cow is lactose-intolerant. I have no clue if this can even happen, or if it may actually be a common enzyme for cows to lack.

Oh. And the satellite is the moon.

Think, what  story does this remind you of?